I had a discussion with a friend recently, about grammar. Which was more heated than it needed to be, but I digress. At some point, the discussion briefly morphed into another topic ... profanity, and how it doesn't mean anything. Well, anymore. It used to mean something. Didn't it?
I remember when I was a kid and someone would say shit or damn and I'd be like, "Ummmm, I'm gonna tell". On rare occasion, I would hear my brother use the f-word. Which would send a direct signal to my brain telling my hands to cover my face, less the neighbor kids would see me blushing. Matter of fact, I was over 25 before I could use that word without blushing. And now, well, now it flips off the end of my tongue more often than I care to admit.
My point is that once we adjust to hearing it, my friend is right ... it means nothing to us. I ran across this article on the topic at cnn dot com. In it a woman is quoted as saying, "Everybody is pretending they aren't shocked ... and gradually people WON'T be shocked. And then those who want to be offensive will find another way." It's obvious to me, some of us really aren't shocked anymore. Does this say something about our society? I'm not sure anymore. I'm currently of the opinion that any effort to control anything is futile.
But really I think that quote can also be a metaphor for what's happening in our world. We pretend things don't bother us, or that nothing can happen or be said that would surprise us in this day and age. Then suddenly, without warning ... it's true. At least with the day to day things in our lives. Will this eventually cross over to natural and man-made disasters, murders, war? Will there be a time when we can't be shocked by anything? I personally know people who are already traveling this road. Do you?
1 comment:
I've been all over the map on using profanity. I think it probably peaked when I was working construction to pay for college. It's hard for me to speak of profanity without also considering other shock tactics such as sex and violence.
There's a lot about our culture that makes us. The language in use around us tends to shape how we perceive and describe the world. When we're surrounded by profanity, that will lead to more profanity without a concerted effort to promote another ideology. A strong ideology almost always appears to require some sort of common philosophy or theology.
It's interesting, as a father attempting to raise decent humans, how some of my friends are so sensitive to profanity when they're around my kids. For example, younger friends who do more partying than child-rearing will often let one or two words slip. It doesn't matter to me much, but they often feel silly afterwards. As long as my kids don't say that stuff around me, that's fine.
It also takes me back to fourth grade. A friend and I made some sort of improvised dialogue that used every word in the book (that we knew then). When my mother found that tape, I was the one feeling stupid afterwards. It really made her upset: she was spouting about how God's way of making children was holy and how disrespectful I was and so on and so forth.
While there's certainly a good deal of profanity in our mass media today, I don't see it as a major issue--it's more a side effect of the prevalence of violence in our culture. For a particular audience, sometimes profanity is the most expressive form of language. The vernacular is always changing shape based on the hip terms of the day.
The discussion about shock and taboos is highly interesting. Across all cultures, there are different modes of behavior that are frowned on and different ways of marginalizing the abnormal behaviors. I think it's safe to say that part of our shock associated with profanity can be linked to our response to violence.
In some countries, there is considerably more nudity in popular culture than we have in ours. Sex and nudity are huge taboos in the USA. Strangely enough, guns and violence are far more common in our media imagery than in some other developed western countries. My German friends often comment on this issue, pointing out that it's better to teach kids how to make love than how to make war.
This usually spins off into a debate about gender equality because from my perspective the images of sex and nudity that are so common in Europe often perpetuate patriarchal roles, with more women being presented as objects than men. The subservience issue doesn't get very far since most men will simply laugh and say "yeah, but what do you care if there's more naked ladies?"
I shrug, usually lacking the words or the facts to frame a more convincing and conclusive argument. Besides, my friends are typically people I love for reasons other than their beliefs about gender.
I can also speak about how I've seen some boys raised by parents who encourage them to "stand up and fight for your way" while imposing virtually no limits on the amount of violent imagery in video games, television, and film. While I'm not one for censorship, I support imposing limits since it's the frequency of such shocking images that can shape our malleable minds. When I compare our murder rate to other nations or hear about another shooting spree at a school or office, I start to wonder how many elements of psychology were influenced by our cultural values or lack thereof.
The military has used repetitive shock imagery tactics for years to prepare troops for the dismal horrors they may face on the battlefield. To some extent, the shock is necessary and good if it prevents troops from breaking in the field. Of course, this leads us to issues we've experienced with veterans being unable to cope when they return to civilian life. How does one make the transition from a heart of stone to one more sensitive to the subtle strains of love?
Unfortunately, we don't stress too many regenerative practices such as meditation or vision quests that may restore us to a more sane and sensitive self. I think there's a huge opportunity here, especially with the fantastic imagination shared by all children. Exposing inner dragons and facing them with virtues like patience, humility, and compassion can be fun and exciting. We owe it to our species to work on promoting interest in such virtues in the minds of our young ones.
Personally, I look for opportunities every day to act more like a teacher; I would use my words and my ways to teach examples of calmness and soothe the trembling hearts and weathered minds of those in my life. Despite my wishes and best efforts, I am often unable to influence those closest to me in the ways of wisdom to the extent I selfishly desire. But then, if I work too hard to impose my own ways, then am I not also exacting a form of violence upon them?
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